I want to be consumed by God.
The phrase “on fire for God” doesn’t cut it. I want to be burnt to a crisp.
I want it to be undeniable that God has seared His hand into my heart—so deeply that people have no choice but to give Him glory and reconsider their path.
I remember what a wise older man once told me: “The more on fire you want to be for God, the more you should read His Word.”
I also think of the verse: “Without wood the fire goes out.”
So by God’s grace, let me pile wood upon wood—the wood of His Word—and let His grace take it from there.
Amen!
Tag: Bible
-
Thoughts No. 4
- If you’re going to pray, the least know God hears and will answer.
- Hydration is a necessity.
- “Behind every strong person, there is a story that gave him no choice.”
- Define success, otherwise you’ll never reach it.
- “I had this nightmare where I lost my voice, [not audibly] but rather that I lost my ability to sing forever. In the nightmare it was clear that I lost my voice because I wasn’t using it anymore. And I woke up and thought, ‘well okay, I have to do something about this or I’m going to lose my voice forever.’”
- Community reminds us who we are.
- If you’re a tree, there are going to be seasons where the leaves fall off or you whither a bit, but trust that no matter what happens, the roots never stop going deeper.
-
A Plain Path
Psalm 27:11 – Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.
I’ve been burning out. Slowly but surely, trying to push myself has been grinding my spirit into a sad powder, haha. The more I work the less I want to work, and it continually leaves me questioning my direction more and more. It’s left me unsatisfied, tired, and depressed. Is what I’m doing worth it? Am I just doing all this in my own strength?
The biggest reason behind my burnout is I’ve let myself spend less and less time with God. The days where I’ve given consistent time to Him puts my spirit to rest. I feel refreshed and hopeful. I know that even if I expend myself today, I will have what I need to accomplish what I need and I don’t have to worry about the next day. As I’ve lost the habit of being with Him, so leaves my peace, assurance, and joy.
Then for the first time in a long time, I spent a couple hours with God yesterday and it was such a breath of fresh air. To open up the Word with no agenda is a beautiful thing. That’s when I came across a phrase in Psalm 27:11. “Lead me in a plain path.”
- “Lead” – I’ve been wrestling with the idea of “being led.” Will God lead me places I truly don’t want to go? What if I have to let go of things I’ve built up or held dearly?
- “Me” – I mean… it’s me. Other people may have one view of me, but I have another. Is it okay to ask God to lead me? Do I have enough value?
- “Plain path” – These are the two words that got me the most. I want this. I want something obvious, and yet doable. The future, though unknown, doesn’t have to be obscure. We just have to know today, and thankfully God promises to show us His plain will today if we ask and seek.
I’m thankful His Word is always available to lead and to guide us.
My satisfaction will never come from a grinding work ethic or connections or progress per se. It come from Jesus.
Thank you, Jesus, for never letting me go. “Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.”
-
Fare Thee Well
Simply put, I will not have time to post as I finish up this college semester, and I will not have time to post this summer as I will be traveling on a summer drama team. These things being said, what will I write about considering this will be my final post for maybe four months?
I will write about Jesus.
One of the most basic facts about the Word of God is that it reveals His love. Jesus Christ and Him crucified is the centerpiece of all Scripture. Why His crucifixion? Because it sets the context of His love! He loved us such much that the Father sent His only begotten Son to bear His wrath towards our sin! He loves you, and He loves me. It’s simple, but it’s true. Yet somehow, this is something that I have struggled with..
I am never good enough! I am never smart enough! I am never disciplined enough! I could have done this more excellent! I could have said that more plain! I could have been more kind! I could love Jesus more! I must sacrifice more!
I am a child of God, and Jesus Christ, as weird as it is to say, is my spiritual brother. Therefore, Christ’s Father is my Father. He has given me commands on how to live my life, beginning with, “Love Me with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength!” Honestly, that’s a hefty command, and without obeying that command first, none of the other commandments will follow. Yet because I have fallen short..
God, I am a failure!
It’s sad as I type that, because even though that statement reflects my heart before God worked in my life, I am still tempted to believe it. Here’s the thing, this is why we must understand that everything in life comes back to Jesus and His Word! Why?! Because our success is not determined by our track record, but by Jesus’ track record! We will all fail time and time again! We will all fall short! Yet every day when the Father looks at us, He sees the righteousness of His Son!
This is the beauty of the Christian life: we do not obey to earn the Father’s approval; we obey because Christ has earned the Father’s approval. We may be chastened, but we will never be destroyed. We may be rebuked, but we will never be cast away! We may fall, but we will never be forced to stay down!
Yes, we will all stand before the judgement throne and everything we have ever said or done will be brought into account, but as my track record is listed off, my eyes will be fixed on the scars in my Lord’s wrists.
This is why we must strive every day to pursue God with complete abandon! Christ is worthy! He deserves it! The most incredible fact is that He doesn’t force us! He let’s us! He woos us! He longs for us! And when we trip and stumble when running after Him, we will not be remembered by our trips and falls!
I was dying in the prayer closet around a week ago, arguing that statement with God, “I am a failure!” “No, you are not.” “Hah! Yeah, right! Remember my laziness this past week?! Remember that comment I said?! Remember that person I neglected?! Tell me how I am not a failure!” Instantly a picture came to my mind of Jesus showing me the holes in His hands were nails went through. “This is why you are not a failure..”
I have one desire for these next four months: more of Jesus. In spite of how weird C. J. Murray is, Jesus is faithful. I am thankful for my Lord and Savior. I can never love Him too much, and when my love for Him falls short, His love for me never falls short.
What a wonderful thought!
Fare thee well, all.
-
Ramblings and Prayer Requests
I have a real problem: showing up to the mall not knowing what I am going to write about.
Honestly, I’ve never been busier in my entire life. Within the past week and a half, I have had to memorize an entire play script (a thirty-minute play; I have the lead role). I was recently informed that I will be traveling the entire summer with the PCC Proclaim Summer Drama Team, so I am currently memorizing multiple songs and drama pieces. I have an Accounting project to chip away at. I have a research paper to finalize. I have speeches to work on.
It’s mind melting, and yet.. every day has been so wonderful with Jesus. I suppose I can’t really hit any main point with this blog post, but every day with Jesus is sweeter than the last. His Word is so comforting, empowering, and convicting. I do, however, wish for more time for closet prayer.
It saddens to think that many Christians neglect the closet prayer. I miss it so badly. I have been so busy, meanwhile recovering from a cold, and waking up at 5:30 to pray is certainly not the most beneficial to overcome sickness. Closet prayer is so much more than “ditching friends to pray” or “losing sleep to pray.” It’s drawing near to the God of the universe in a very intimate and necessary way to bring His will to earth.
If it weren’t for communing with God in the prayer closet, I’d be robbed of so many things in my life at this very moment. Every day God seems to be answering small prayers. My days seem to be filled with divine appointments and needed conversations. My peace is the result of prayer. My strength is the result of prayer. My wisdom and diligence is the result of prayer. Why prayer? Prayer connects me to Jesus Christ and brings His will to earth. Without prayer, His will does not and will not come to earth.
It was around four or five days ago that I had a complete meltdown: mentally, emotionally, spiritually… I went to the prayer closet, fought it through, went out to my friends to work on homework, and then everything blew up all over again. I bring up this instance to say that spiritual warfare has become more real than ever before. As a friend worded it to me, “The enemy has a target on your back.” That night, there was about four to five hours of wrestling before God finally came through with the already won victory.
One of the things that God has taught me is that I need not be ashamed of my spiritual struggle. My spiritual struggle is the result of sprinting forward as hard as I possibly can in the power of Jesus Christ. “What weight can I set aside?” “What barrier can be broken down?” “What area of my life has yet to be surrendered to Jesus Christ?” And as a result, everywhere I turn seems to be riddled with pain. Though it’s easy to be discouraged by said pain, as a friend told me,
Don’t you know that Jacob had to wrestle all night with Jesus Christ before He could get the blessing? He said, “I will not let thee go except thou bless me!” Do not let God go! Keep on struggling! Keep on wrestling! His Word is true and He will not let you down!
It all comes back to simply this: “Love God and keep His commandments.” It’s saying, “Jesus, how can I love you more and obey your commandments?” Isn’t it lovely how simple the Christian life is?
And now that I think about it, within the past week and a half, God has taken away an enormous amount of pain. He has answered prayer in many ways within a specific area of my life, and as I have followed Him, He has led me further into His love and led me out of flames which I had been led through for so long.
The problem is that I feel like I’m walking on thin ice. I need prayer and badly. It has been remarkable just how many friends have been commenting to me how much they are praying for me. I, in turn, have been doing my very best in praying for all of my friends and family as well. I desperately need God’s guidance and am seeking Him more than ever.
None the less, let it be known that as always, I trust my God. He knows what He is doing. As for me, I really need to work on Accounting. I understand the subject, but application! I need to apply myself! That is my current plight. It is very difficult to work very hard on what I am not passionate about. I long for a passion for Accounting, but I seem to be drowning. I need prayer for that as well.
Thank you all so much.
God will work.
Amen.
-
The Body (of Christ)
Suppose there was a person who quickly fell and died.
Maybe part of who he was said “innocent!” but lied.So..
What if his hands said to his feet,
“We’re jealous of your toes,”
And in so doing forgot that
They’re holding a fire hose.What if his toes said to his eyes,
“We’re jealous of your sight,”
And in so doing forgot that
They’re running in a fight.What if his eyes said to his heart,
“We’re jealous of your beat,”
And in so doing forgot that
They’re spotting dangerous heat.What if his heart said to his tongue,
“I’m jealous of your voice,”
And in so doing forgot that
It’s sustaining every choice.What if his tongue said to his brain,
“I’m jealous of your head,”
And in so doing forgot that
It’s a spokesman aforesaid.Maybe such is how he died:
His body parts were proud.
We’ll never know, but maybe so,
Could it be said too loud?This past week, God has been teaching me how to appreciate the body of Christ. I have previously struggled with being jealous of others’ walk with God, envying different traits of theirs and how God has built them when that is actually pride. He has been teaching me to appreciate others’ walk with God and look at their spiritual lives for encouragement. We may be running a race, but this isn’t a competition with each other. We are a team, a unified body. We are to look to Jesus Christ, the author, and finisher of our faith, and push each other to Him, regardless of where we are or they are in the race.
It is a wonderful thing when the body of Christ is simply.. the body of Christ.
-
Onward March
I cannot begin to describe the spiritual warfare that has taken place since last Saturday. God has moved in my life and in all of my friends’ lives, and from the moment God first moved, the enemy picked up pace and charged straight ahead.
I have felt it: the weight of the enemy surrounding me and whispering lies into my ear. Often the enemy has simply reminded me of situations that I’m in. Statements of fact. “Remember, this is going on.” “Just think back to this..” “Don’t forget this is happening!” And there have been days where I have crumbled beneath the pressure.
“Wow! That’s right! This is going on! Oh, no! I don’t see Jesus in this! God! Help me! Please!”
But listen..
Never observe how high the waves are.
Never pay attention to how hard the wind is blowing.
Never take thought as to how dark the clouds are.
Never think through the laws of physics.Only look to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, and walk on water!
I can honestly say with all my heart that Jesus is winning. He has already won. He said, “It is finished!” and He meant it! Tomorrow will be just as painful as today, but that doesn’t meant my Savior doesn’t live inside of me and ever lives to intercede for me. Spiritual warfare is an adventure when Jesus is the one fighting. He is a man of war. He never loses a single battle.
As for Satan, he is a prince of lies. Nothing he can ever say is 100% truth. What God’s Word says is fact. What He promises will come to pass. He knows what He is doing. There is nothing that He does not know. There is nothing that He is not in complete control of. His Word is all I need to know, and prayer fills in the gaps.
I look forward to arriving in heaven and hearing heaven’s perspective on these transpiring events. It will be grand beyond compare.
As for today? Well..
Onward march!
-
Faith
In Scripture, the facts of the Gospel are obvious. What we have in Christ is very clear. “For ye are dead to sin” is Christianity 101. Yet in our (my) life, there is a contrast. “Why am I not what the Bible says I am in Christ?” What is the kink in the system, the jam in the gears, or the clog in the pipes?
The first and greatest commandment is to love God. Then, “of faith, hope, and love, the greatest of these is love.” Yet, although the foundation of a relationship is love, how can the relationship function without faith? Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. Therefore! Without faith there is no substance and there is no evidence!
Many of us moan and grown about the lack of substance and evidence the Bible says we have in Christ, yet we neglect the lack of faith in God’s Word. We will never know the substance of what we have in Christ until we first accept it by faith.
The Bible is always talking about doing things through Christ. How does that work? It’s like an oven-mitten. We can’t grab a red-hot pan out of an oven with our bare hands, so we need to grab the red-hot pain through an oven-mitten! Here is the big question: how do we put the oven-mitten on?! Faith! You don’t have joy? Laugh it off and thank the risen Lord for the joy that you have in Him! You don’t have peace? Laugh it off and thank the risen Lord for the peace that you have in Him!
We are always told in Scripture to pray with thanksgiving! Why? Because you can only be thankful for what you already have, and to do so is nothing less than exercising faith.
Praise the Lord for the simplicity of the person of Jesus Christ.
It’s already there. Be thankful.
-
Faith Is Always Made Sight
My Savior, Jesus, called my name and wooed me out to sea.
I heard Him past the farthest depths and heard His love for Me.
I raised the mast and set the sail. I left to ne’er return.
I sought for Jesus with the cost that land, I must spurn.The clouds grew dark and winds blew hard. I wept through endless rain.
I sought for Jesus more and more, yet still braved ceaseless pain.
“Jesus! Please! I know You’re there! I just can’t see Your face!
When will Your grand promises be proven in this place?!”The thunder rolled when suddenly, I heard His gentle voice.
“Peace, be still,” calmed the seas and caused me to rejoice!
The sun broke through the stormy clouds as everything fell low.
The light blue sky swept above revealing Him below!He ran across the still, smooth sea and jumped into my ship!
He grasped my hand and shook it firm with heaven’s fearless grip.
He laughed then cried along with me. He took away my fears!
He hugged me hard then looked at me to wipe away my tears.“Blessed are you who trusted Me when everything looked grim,
Who sailed through torrents strong and prayed when everything grew dim.
You see, My friend, I don’t forget the tears of My dear saints.
I always come to rescue them before the strongest faints.”The past month of my life is summarized in this poem.
Two days ago, the winds finally ceased, and I saw Jesus.
I always knew He was there; I just couldn’t see Him.
Thus being said, as a good friend once told me:“Faith is always made sight!”
cjmurray.blog 